Ted Sears Memoir, part 8

Jewish deportees leave Hungary for Auschwitz-Birkenau in the spring of 1944. Between mid-May and early July more than 430,000 Hungarian Jews were sent to Auschwitz-Birkenau, most to death in the gas chambers. This photo, from Yad Vashem, was used in a May 14, 2014 article in the Budapest Beacon.

Introduction

Ted Sears, born Tibor Schwartz in December 1929 in Debrecen, Hungary survived the Holocaust along with his brother, Mickey, born one year before Ted. The rest of his family — his father, mother, grandmother and young sister did not survive.

After the war Ted and Mickey were able to make their way to the United States. After a time, Ted settled in Los Angeles, started a successful business, became a United States citizen, married and raised a family. Work and family absorbed more and more of Ted's time and despite the past he was able to lead a successful and happy life.

An anti-British demonstration at the Föhrenwald displaced persons camp in 1947. Copyright United States Holocaust Memorial Museum, courtesy of David Bayer.

Still, he could not forget the past although dwelling on it was difficult. Once in a while he was asked to tell his story to curious friends. But it wasn't until after he retired that he became convinced he needed to leave a permanent record of that past for his children, and for others —both those who knew about the Holocaust and Holocaust deniers. His memoir was a work of great effort and was the direct result of that conviction. The short letter to his sister, below, was written as part of that effort.

Ted's memoir has been donated to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum.

A Letter to Gyongyike, by Ted Sears

Dear Sister:

You are probably wondering what happened to you. You can't understand why your life was snuffed out at such an early age. You never hurt anybody, why would somebody want to hurt you? It doesn't make sense. To tell you the truth, I cannot understand it either. Nobody can.

I want you to know that we did everything possible trying to save you. They came with guns on their shoulders and pistols in their hands. They wore long leather jackets and knee-high boots. Their faces looked mean and frightening. Your brother Mickey and I were too young to stop them. Mother tried desperately to save you. She did everything humanly possible to see that no harm came your way. She gave her own life in the process but that didn’t help either. Believe me. There was nothing else left for us to do.

I wish you could tell me what those bastards did to you! Tell me, I want to know. I want the world to know! Don't pay any attention to the "Revisionists" who deny the Holocaust. You and I know better. We were there. Shout it from the top of your lung. Let them all hear how you cannot believe that they'd murder you and other young innocent children too. Tell them how you were gasping for air while they continued dropping more gas pellets into the chamber. Tell them how thousands of naked people were standing outside, humiliated beyond human tolerance, waiting for the same fate. Tell them how hatred ran so deep that even killing millions could not satiate the Nazi appetite for more blood, a hatred so abysmal and intense that it lacks comprehension. Animals could not be that cruel. Let those who don't believe it go there and take a good look at the gas chambers. Let them stand there naked for five or ten minutes and think. Why did this tragedy have to happen? Why? Why? Why?

Did you scream? Did you cry? Was mother by your side? Did she hold your hands? Did you know that you were about to die? Did you know that every breath you took might be the last one?

I still remember the day you were born. How happy I was. I remember how father put his arm around my shoulder, clinked my glass and made a toast. L'Chayim. To a long life. How innocent I was then. I thought that we'd all live forever. I felt so safe with mother and father by our side. How good they looked and how young they were. And here we are today. Everybody dead, except Mickey and me. Murdered. Executed. Yes, cold-bloodedly murdered. What happened to L’Chayim?

Why was this tragedy necessary? Did the world become a better place because of it? I want you to know that the world has still a lot to learn. There is still a lot of intolerance and hatred going on. However, there are some people who do sincerely care and are working feverishly to put an end to hatred and intolerance. It is a difficult fight. A bitter struggle, an uphill fight and only time will tell whether they'll succeed. In honor of your memory, I would like to dedicate the rest of my life to participate in the fight against hatred and bigotry. This ugly chapter of history must never, never, never be allowed to repeat itself.

Gyongyike, I shall never forget you. I shall always love you.

Your brother Ted.